Keene Green Valley Farms

Home of the world's largest fictional pumpkin patch

⚠️ This brand does not exist.

Cannabis grown in Keene's scenic Elm City valleys — fictionally. Home to great pumpkins and imaginary cannabis cultivation.

Flower

Products by Keene Green Valley Farms

Keene Green Valley Sour Diesel

Keene Green Valley Sour Diesel

Flower / Sativa

THC 22.5%

$46.00 / 1/8 oz

Diesel from the Elm City's fictional fields. Pumpkin-season energy for a cann...

by Keene Green Valley Farms

Keene Valley GMO Cookies

Keene Valley GMO Cookies

Flower / Hybrid

THC 27.0%

$57.00 / 1/8 oz

GMO Cookies in Keene's Elm City. Pungent as a pumpkin festival, fictional as ...

by Keene Green Valley Farms

Keene Valley Lemon Haze

Keene Valley Lemon Haze

Flower / Sativa

THC 21.0%

$43.00 / 1/8 oz

Lemon Haze bright as a Keene pumpkin festival morning. Citrusy, fictional, an...

by Keene Green Valley Farms

Satire Ends Here

While the rest of this site is a joke, cannabis prohibition is not funny. Opiates and hard drugs are devastating communities. Cannabis is not the enemy. Here's how to take real action in New Hampshire:

Advocacy Organizations

The nation's largest cannabis advocacy organization, working to reform marijuana laws since 1970.

Marijuana Policy Project National

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Contact Your US Senators

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⚠️ SATIRE DISCLOSURE

This is a work of political satire. All store names, brand names, products, and events on this site are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real businesses is coincidental. No cannabis is sold here. This site exists to highlight the absurdity of prohibition and to connect people with real advocacy resources.

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