Dartmouth Distillates

Ivy League potency for a state-school budget

⚠️ This brand does not exist.

Premium distillates with Ivy League ambition from Dartmouth's most fictional chemistry department. Academic extraction, imaginary results.

Concentrate

Products by Dartmouth Distillates

Dartmouth Live Resin Wedding Cake

Dartmouth Live Resin Wedding Cake

Concentrate / Live Resin

THC 68.0%

$68.00 / 1g

Wedding Cake live resin from the most academic fictional cannabis lab in New ...

by Dartmouth Distillates

Dartmouth Gelonade Distillate

Dartmouth Gelonade Distillate

Concentrate / Distillate

THC 84.0%

$50.00 / 1g

Gelonade distillate from New Hampshire's most academic fictional cannabis dep...

by Dartmouth Distillates

Satire Ends Here

While the rest of this site is a joke, cannabis prohibition is not funny. Opiates and hard drugs are devastating communities. Cannabis is not the enemy. Here's how to take real action in New Hampshire:

Advocacy Organizations

The nation's largest cannabis advocacy organization, working to reform marijuana laws since 1970.

Marijuana Policy Project National

The largest organization working to end marijuana prohibition in the US.

Contact Your US Senators

Federal legalization requires federal action. Tell your senators where you stand.

For state legislators, visit openstates.org — enter your address to find your representatives.

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FREE STATES — Where Adults Can Legally Enjoy Cannabis

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⚠️ SATIRE DISCLOSURE

This is a work of political satire. All store names, brand names, products, and events on this site are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real businesses is coincidental. No cannabis is sold here. This site exists to highlight the absurdity of prohibition and to connect people with real advocacy resources.

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